My Pet Peeve

My pet peeve

Beyond a doubt my worst pet peeve is lack of communication!This stems from multiple areas of my life. Everything from vendors to friends to family. People who think that it is acceptable not to respond to emails is my first peeve. My job right now is to fill a craft show with the best vendors I can. I do this as a volunteer and takes many many hours of dealing with people, drafting floor plans, placing vendors so they don’t have an identical vendor next to them, it is all a work in progress usually up to the last week of planning. At first when the applications go out I usually get a ton of applications. I go through them to make sure I have an equal amount of varying crafts and products. When that is done I send emails to confirm, explaining that payment will secure their spot. (and this is indicated on the application form) Some vendors are really great, they either just respond with payment or contact me to say when they will pay. My email and phone number is always available and I have always made it my mission to treat people the way I like to be treated. Good concept right? I go above and beyond what I should be doing but most people that know me, know that is how I am. I just don’t get people lately. In a society that is so socially  connected they think that it is OK to ignore instead of stepping up and saying.. “I’m sorry but I am unable to attend” Simple response  but they think I have nothing better to do than to chase after them for a response. They treat it like they are too busy to take time to respond but don’t take into consideration that I also am too busy to keep chasing them down for a response. So my solution for this particular problem is. Remove them from the floor plan and move on. No need to explain anymore to them. They don’t have the consideration to contact me, I should not feel guilty about taking them out of the show.

Next…People who use you for their own gain!. I call these people inconsequential friends. (which means they don’t consider you important or significant unless they need you for something). Unfortunately I have run into lots of these people during my 64 years. Seriously it takes me a bit to realise this but in the end it usually hits me and I think “Holy crap I did it again” . A good example is, I contacted someone who I considered a friend on Facebook, to meet up for a coffee. Well I don’t know if this person realises that I see when they read the Private Message or not ( or maybe they just don’t give a damn). So, the message was read but this person didn’t have the decency to even respond with, ‘sorry can’t make it” or.. “you suck so I don’t want to meet for coffee” or “I only friended you because I hoped that your relationship was not good and I could swoop in” or “You called me on my fabricated stories, exaggerated stories and outright lies and now I can’t be around you because you know the truth”. Either way I gave it the 48 hour rule (wait 48 hours before you act or respond) then I promptly deleted this person from my list. There are many more recounted stories of this type of problem but I won’t get into it right now. I am sure you have your own accounts and honestly I would love to hear them if you want to respond to this post.

The next one is the exclusion from family matters. I like to keep to myself, not one to blat out there everyday about how my life is going. No one else’s business and I am sure that no one out there really cares if you had coffee and yogurt for breakfast, right? I don’t get the “I have to post something on my news feed or my day is not complete even if it is stupid or boring” 

opps strayed off the tracks for a bit, sorry about that.

Well anyway, that doesn’t mean that I don’t care or I don’t get hurt when this type of thing happens. One in particular comes to mind when family events happen but. “oh I thought I told you” or “Honestly it just slipped my mind” or “I didn’t think you would be interested.” Seriously. I live a short drive away and it seems like it is too much bother to even think or ask? Like I said, communication. I have done everything I could to keep in contact, and to what end! Missing activities because I didn’t find out about it until I see the pictures posted on Facebook truly hurts.    I realise now that I was more than likely purposely excluded (not sure why and not sure I really care at this point) I could read a lot into why but honestly it is not worth my time and effort to explain this behaviour.  At one point I tried for 3 weeks to coincide a good time to drop off a gift when every date seemed to be an inconvenient time. Seriously? Karma will bite the hand that feeds it and I will just sit back and watch.

So in conclusion, treat people with respect and kindness. If a confidence is given to you, respect it and don’t spread it around. If a trust is given to you, wrap it up gently and store it away as it is truly a gift to have someone trust you. Treat friendship like a good wine, savour it and make it last.

Communication is the key in the end. It only takes a minute of your time to respond to someone, or to treat them with kindness. Pay it forward daily. Wave and smile at an unsuspecting stranger, it could be the brightest spot in their miserable day. Send someone a Private message telling them that you are thinking of them and just wanted to say hello.  

What is your pet Peeve?  let me know. I would love to hear your stories.

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Insert Knife,, turn gently

nBeing excluded is one of the worst feelings in the world. From experiencing it as a grade school child to a full blown adult. As a sister, a mother, a grandmother it just plain sucks. There is only so much you can do to insert yourself into someone’s life if they clearly don’t want you in their lives. Oh sure, you get the, “Oh I forgot to tell you,” or.. “Didn’t I mention it to you?”..or “I didn’t think you would be interested”. Not living in the immediate area should not matter. Inclusion is inclusion no matter the distance. Even if you deem that the person probably can’t make it, ask anyway. To be asked means “you matter and we really would like to see you”. To not ask means.. “Honestly, you don’t matter to us” Sound harsh?  Well I hope so!

Ask any child in school  and they will tell you it’s the thing they fear most – it’s not getting bad grades or angering their parents – it’s being deemed an outsider at school, not worthy or altogether forgotten. Well this feeling can carry on through into adulthood. The feeling of no matter what you do, you are still excluded from events, etc. There is nothing worse than realizing that you do not measure up in their eyes. Being excluded just says that “You don’t matter” .. Yes that sounds harsh but repeated exclusions mean just that!. Being left out is an emotional drama that comes in three parts:

 Discovery by the excluded person.

 Distress and the downward spiral it perpetuates, and then

Detachment if you are strong enough to accept it.

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 As painful as it is, there comes a point when you have to let it go. You have done everything you can. The emotional pain when finding out stuff accidentally, by word of mouth or posted pictures can sometimes be too much to bear and in the end not worth your time or tears anymore.  Again sound harsh?  Not really, it is a way of preserving your emotional integrity. 

So in the words of the Frozen Characters.. “Let it Go”   and from this day forward I plan to. I am taking a deep breath and making a change in my life from this day forward. 

So my blatting for the day (heck ,,,, the year) is over. I am stronger than all this drama. I need no one but myself at this point. Time to let some of the scars heal. 

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Introverts unite!

I have always described myself as being an introvert but holy moly I didn’t realize it had gotten more as I have grown older. For example this morning I went to the clinic to get a prescription refill. Normally I am right on top of this and make an appointment with my doctor in plenty of time. Well NoPE!! I had totally forgotten about it. So this morning I had to go sit in the clinic as a walk in. I arrived and noticed that there were only 5 people in the waiting room.. BONUS!!!! So I sat down and made myself comfortable. Well wouldn’t you know it.. a woman two chairs up decided that I looked like I wanted to chat. I answered her in my short (I really don’t want to chat) sentences but she persisted. So I took out my phone and started to read my book thinking she would leave me alone. NOPE.. good god woman go away!… then she decided to have a conversation on her phone and instead of getting up and going out she decided to sit right there and talk loudly on her cellphone. By this time I wanted to scream.. oh.. and on top of that the new receptionist had one of those squeaky high pitched voices that you just want to reach over the counter and slap the child voice out of her. Someone asked what her name was and she responded “Ariel”… “oh nice” the older lady responded.. “Ariel (air e-lle) is a pretty name.. the girl looked and said. “it is Ariel (arrh  e-lle).. ” the older woman looked and the look on her face was.. “isn’t that what I just said?”…hahahah… anyway after hearing her name out loud and looking how her little Ariel self was dressed I almost expected a flood of Disney characters to come dancing out of the office every time she spoke.  And on that note I was called into see the doctor and the nurse did her customary BP test. she looked at me and said… ” oh I will come back in a few minutes to do this again while we wait for the doctor”.. 5 minutes  later she came back, did the test and ahha.. perfect. I asked the nurse.. so what was it before and after.. she laughed and said.. “150/110 the first time and 130/70 the second time”  hahahaha.. I guess the sitting in the waiting room with the disney character and chatty cathy really shot my BP up.. So 5 minutes later I had my prescription in hand and all but bolted out the door. I am really proud of myself for not going ape over the woman who would not stop talking to me. I really need to work on telling people I am not a chatty person. something like “I realize you are just trying to be friendly but I really don’t feel much like conversation right now, I hope you understand” Sounds easy peasy ….right?  but that is hard to do. I would rather just go inside myself and get that blank stare look.

Many years ago I knew I was uncomfortable in crowds. I had people describe me as unfriendly and aloof but at the time I had no idea there was a label for all of that. It wasn’t that I was unfriendly, seriously, I just didn’t know how to deal with being in the company of a crowd of people. For example I had come across a woman I had gone to high school with, many years after graduation and she said.. oh.. I remember you.. we called you the snob because you wouldn’t talk to us. Now seriously? In the old days and I am saying about 40 years ago, no one took notice of mental health issues and as far as I am concerned being an introvert can lead to issues because you are shunned and made fun of, called names, etc. Seriously this comment threw me and I said.. WHAT?  I was far from a snob as I could see it. What did I have that would have presented me as a snob. To me a snob was someone that was rich, had everything and looked down their nose at people. Good grief. I was not from a rich family… far from it.. I wore second hand clothes, you name it. I was shy and didn’t mix well with people and now I realise it was because I was mostly an introvert. I loved being alone, didn’t need to go out and socialize and party. I was really not into that and was very happy not going out. So I guess when I think of it I understand why people called me a snob. I went to school, didn’t join clubs, had one or two good friends during my school years. As I grew older that didn’t change but I still had to take verbal abuse for wanting to be alone. Now that I am in my early senior years I am content with people calling me what ever they want. I really don’t care and I really don’t feel any need to keep explaining myself to anyone. Take me as I am or don’t take me at all. Just leave me with my decisions not to participate in certain things or events and don’t waste your time trying to talk me into doing something I am not comfortable with. I no longer live my life trying to make other people comfortable at the expense of myself. I am better than that! Just understand me and accept me the way I am,,,,simple as that!

So on this note I am off to do some pinterest looking and recover from this mornings assault of my introvertness.   (hahaha is that even a word?…well it is now)

How do you deal with anyone intruding into your personal space?

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Recovery Time!

This week has been a total recovery and reflection week for me. I survived the Festival show last weekend. I was and have been the organizer for this show for the past 4 years. The first two years it was in a great smaller venue but with the traffic restrictions in place for our festival weekend, especially the day of the 2 hour parade I had decided that I needed a larger venue that was closer to the festival itself. Well I secured a great venue last year at a community college and everything went as smooth as butter. There was only one glitch.. and that was the blocked off roads during the parade. I fought with myself to have it again this year but my dedication to my vendors side won out. So in February I contacted the college and confirmed that we would be using their campus again. It was basically the same price that I paid for the smaller venue but it was a larger place, better parking, more visibility, etc. Everything went smoothly, vendors were being vetted and the show was filling up to be a great show. Then all heck broke loose. the cost increase,  3 times the cost of last year, the fact that I had to provide my own insurance at a cost of $500 and it went on and on. In hindsight I should have cancelled the show in March when all this hit the fan but I figured it would be worked out, the show would be great! Issues were still being ironed out right up to two weeks before the show!.  by then it was a done deal and could not be cancelled. I could not do that to my loyal vendors, period!.

So we got through the show last weekend with double the amount of shoppers coming through our doors. the vendors were happy, the shoppers were happy but next near it is not to be. The college has refused to give us the quoted price for a non profit organization and the price sits at $1700 for the rental and $500 for the insurance. At those prices we cannot manage to do a show there since they also cut back on the allowed tables for the show due to their newly enforced fire regulations.  So. .. that’s it in a nutshell. I have tried to find a place other than the college but there are only a couple of considerations. One being back at the original venue of 4 years ago (again.. low shoppers due to traffic regulations) One or two more in the actual downtown core but the only shoppers we would get there are the people that line up hours before the parade and truthfully they are not high end craft show shoppers. Yes we would probably get a ton of people through the door but they would not be actual buyers, just tire kickers as we call them.

so This week I have been reflecting on what to do. I watched CBS Sunday morning while drinking my morning coffee and they were interviewing Carl Reiner, Dick VanDyke and Norman Lear. Listening to those gentleman reflect on life helped me let go of a lot of things , especially my past. Mr Lear stated that he has an outlook of… “It’s done… what’s next?”.. He doesn’t dwell in the past, doesn’t try to prolong something that is basically done. He accepts and moves on to whatever is next.   Mr Van Dyke plainly stated (and I have often heard it),,,find what you love doing and do it!… It was like a light bulb moment for me. So this stage of my life is done,, I will move on and go to the what’s next stage.

I am taking some time for me, doing  things that what I want to do. I need to stop worrying about other people (such as vendors) and how I shouldn’t worry about letting these vendors down by not doing another show. Honestly, I am sure that they would not give me a second thought, they will move on to other shows, as they should. I have done this for 10 years and honestly this year was the worst experience I have ever had when it came to dealing with ungrateful, berating and inconsiderate vendors. Now don’t get me wrong. 90% of the vendors are wonderful people but the 10% really wore me down this year. I have vendor chats and phone call stories that would curl your hair but I am not about to get into calling people out publicly as I am sure before long they will dig their own graves when it comes to getting into shows. Life will take care of these people and good luck to them I say.

So on that note I am getting back to what I used to do in high school. At that time my life was colourful and hippy like so I am going to try to channel that again as I move into the summer months. Not quite sure how this will play out but honestly I don’t care. I just want to be peaceful and creative. That’s not a bad thing!

so keep an eye out with what I am going to work on. I will post a picture or two here and there. This morning was spent sorting, repacking and putting all that in my cupboards. Signs and big suitcase are back into the crawl space of the basement and I can actually see my studio floor once again.

Off I go to enjoy this brisk Sunday afternoon, quietly purging at times and cleaning my studio ..maybe..(this is garbage week… yay) and watching the Blue Jays play ball. This feels like a good decision. I can take a deep breath and say “You have done well grasshopper” Time for someone else to take over, someone else with big dreams and stars in their eyes because honestly the stars have faded in my eyes this year and I am perfectly fine with that. I did my time, now I am taking a rest.

 

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DIY Greeting Card Riser

Well here I go again!. I have been going crosseyed trying to find a greeting card rack or riser for my upcoming show next week. Everyone I found was either out of stock or will not ship to Canada or.. if they do it would take almost 2 months to get here. Good GRIEF!!!!

So I have been searching online for a DIY greeting card riser and everyone I find is cut into strips and taped together. To me that will not last any longer than one show  and to me, that is way too much work. So I made it my mission to figure something out that would work for me. Off I went to the dollar store and I found 5.5″x7″ boxes. I bought 7 of them. Black boxes with really pretty covers. At the time the covers didn’t really matter but what I did at the end will surprise you. Heck I even surprised myself.. but I am getting ahead of myself so let me back up a bit.

Here is what I did with the boxes.  I took the first two boxes and taped them together lengthwise and turned them over so the bottom is now the top. Follow me?

Then I took two more boxes and did the same thing but I faced the open end up this time.

I then took the four boxes and butt them together and taped them to make one square. I used  two pieces of black duct tape to secure the boxes together.  (not done yet in the below picture)

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So then I took three more boxes and taped them together on the long side.

I then took those three boxes and centered them on the back base right up the the edge of the boxes

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I then used designer paper  to the front pieces of the boxes. I cut the paper and left 1/4″ all around the paper to make a black border. Run a strip of duct tape down the middle of the front two boxes to keep them from spreading open. (as you see in the picture below.  I didn’t do that and the boxes spread a bit. So I went back and taped them after the pictures were taken. )

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I put coordinating paper on the side to take away from the plainness.

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I was pretty pleased with my first attempt. Now I had 7 covers.. hmm what to do with them… ah ha… they will slide inside each other,, right?  so I took two covers and made a thin display box for… well.. maybe my gift card holders?  or my mini note pads with pens? I haven’t decided yet but I have the option now to have a few displayed upright and I will probably put those on my small metal rack I have here to raise it up above other items on the table.

So that was my project for the day and I am sure I will hit the store again to get more boxes so I can do a wider box set up for my larger cards probably on the weekend after I access what I have here and how I am going to display on my table.

So I hope I have given you a bit of inspiration to make your own display riser for your shows. If you have any questions feel free to contact me.

And Have a wonderful and productive day!

 

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Late life allergies

Can you believe it?  I have developed allergies in my 60’s. This has been the worst winter for breathing that I have ever experienced. And on top of that I was diagnosed last spring with adult onset Eczema .. yup.. It is freaking like going through puberty all over again. This is just so darn stupid at my age. Oh well…I am on this side of the dirt so I will do some life changes and deal with all this crud. This is stupid!

The Dr asked me.. oh.. do you have animals?  …seriously???  I have had animals since I was a child so.. yes of course I have animals. I am not about to get rid of them at this point. I will get an air purifier going in the bedroom to help with sleeping and I will now have to make sure that the room is always swept and dust bunny free.. This is stupid!!  have I said that already?  lol

And now.. on top of all this I have tried to make a shawl over the past month and honest to god I can’t believe the itching and sneezing and allergy eyes that went on. I am hoping that it is just the particular yarn that I was using. I will wait for all this to settle down and pick up a different type of yarn and see how that goes. I know about 10 years ago I was tested and at the time I was allergic to red yarn!.. must be the particular type of dye used. So I had stayed away from that colour as much as I could. Now it seems I have branched out to other colours,, or maybe…hopefully just the make of the yarn I used last month. It is a slow process figuring out all this mess but once I figure out what I am allergic to I will be able to get on with my daily stuff.

In the meantime I have purged a couple of bags of yarn to a friend and honestly I don’t know if I will even venture into the yarn cupboard any time soon. Good thing I have moved on to another craft and we will see how this works out for the next craft show. This show and the one in the fall will determine if I stay with the craft I changed to. In any case I am enjoying what I am playing with in my studio and it is costing me very little since I have a lot of the supplies on hand.

So with all that being said. Allergies SUCK!!!!..

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Friday’s Thoughts

I have been busy getting some items made for the upcoming Craft Show in May. I have decided to re purpose,,,  reuse,,,name it what you will. I have started doing daily gratitude journals and prayer journals. Now this is something I decided to do because I have a lot of paper craft stock on hand and to be honest these are fun to make

I am pleasantly surprised how nice they turned out so I will continue with my gratitude journey and have a stash made for the craft show. Here is a picture of what I did this week, in between craft show organizing,,,,, calling way too many insurance companies to get insurance for the show (yes I now have to provide a certificate of liability to the venue owners)  You would think it would be a piece of cake but I have run the gauntlet trying to find a company that actually knows how to insure special events. I am about ready to pull my hair out and I have put the push on because if I can’t come up with a company that can provide the insurance by the end of this month, I will then have to forgo the show for this year. NSCC is very adamant about not allowing the venue to be rented without proof of insurance. What a conundrum. So onward I go with the insurance hunt. I will prevail!!!

so anyway.. here is what I have been doing to de-stress.

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Adorable right?

So I am out of here for the rest of the day since I have to place vendors and get back on the phone for the insurance.

Have a great weekend and prepare for the upcoming storm… ugh.. March is such an unpredictable month

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