Holiday stress

“Our happiness often relies on contrast; we have to experience negative things in life, in order to really appreciate true gratitude and what is meant to be. I have learned so much from pain”~~~

That was in a blog post I read this morning and it was like a light bulb moment for me!

Even though this is the holiday season, a lot of people, including myself to a certain point, tend to slip into loneliness, rejection and unhappiness. That is in no way projecting fault or blame on the people who are presently in your life, it is just that memories, good and not so good tend to creep into your psyche when you least expect it. We go on day by day *happy happy joy joy*   while inside we are dreading the holidays. We avoid parties and crowds in fear that people will see that loneliness and unhappiness and honestly it is exhausting keeping up that false front all the time.  We hide away while we should really be going out of our comfort zone and mingling. We are afraid that people will judge us because we are not the “OMG it is the best season ever” type of person.

These difficult times over the years should have made me stronger, a little bit more fearless and forgiving (I am still working on the forgiving part of it). But through the years I carried all this on my shoulders wondering. “What have I done?  Why does this happen?” “Am I supposed to be learning something from all this?”  I can’t think of a better time in my life than where I am right now, although a lot of sharp burrs keep hitting me from every direction. I am tired of dodging and ducking to avoid them hitting me. Recently I have had a day that gob smacked me and set me back to a place I really don’t want to be anymore. Sometimes you just try too hard and that never works out in the long run if you are the only person doing the work.

A wise person once said that “Letting go is much easier than hanging on”.  I think I get that now, when hanging on kills you inside. Again the trying too hard thing comes into the forefront in BOLD FONT.  So here is a little word of advice. Just remember that if you are having a difficult time in your life, reach out to someone, and don’t shut yourself away because imaginary scenarios will overtake your common sense. Difficult times will only remain if you choose to hold on to them. They will burn into you until you lash out and hurt someone that has always been on your side through thick and thin. Words can be easily said but impossible to take back once they are out there.

So the letting go part of my life has begun and not as a New Year’s resolution by any means. Do this with me, for yourself and your own well being as a lifelong endeavor from this point onward.  It is something that all of us should do to gain peace and to let you concentrate on the great things you have going on in your life right now. This letting go will not kill you or change you in any way, it will only free up your soul to begin to live a life of acceptance of all things we cannot change. We cannot carry everyone else’s burdens on our shoulders for the rest of our lives without those burdens affecting us in some way.

Shake them off !

I for one am trying and will learn to let go (eventually this will fully happen). I must be honest though that I am not entirely comfortable with all of this. I am determined not to let the negative unhappy stuff dictate the rest of my life. You have to embrace life, hold your loved ones close because tomorrow is never promised.

You are not your * brother’s keeper* so to speak, especially if the door doesn’t swing both ways. You are not responsible for anyone else’s life except your own. You need to be a little selfish and take care of YOU.

*Breath deep and seek peace*

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